i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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