she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
