when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I didn't notice because vodka
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
