I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
