He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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