Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
