no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
