Nicole vs. Life
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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