I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
