First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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