he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
