How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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