i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
