Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
