I just pynch a tree in the face
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
