She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
