i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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