I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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