I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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