God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Everyone says I win the strip club
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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