She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
