It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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