Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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