my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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