He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
