bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
