there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
