Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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