i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
