Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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