Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
