I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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