So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
