But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
