how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
