i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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