U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
