I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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