what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You can't special order awesome
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
