he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
