Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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