and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
