I would go down on you faster than GM stock
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
