Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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