first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
