we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
