We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
