is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
