He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
