We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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