please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My dad just said "fuck circus"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
