: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
