We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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