I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
