I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
